Last Days

I've drafted two completely different posts already and I just can't seem to get anything coherent out!

I am at a complete loss for words. I don't know what to say! This is so surreal! I still remember the drive to the airport in Adelaide a year ago! I remember the flights and how incredibly glad I was to finally land in Finland after those 2 straight days of travel, thanking the Lord that I didn't have to do it again for a whole year... and here I am! 1 year later with my suitcase packed again and ready to make my way to the airport tomorrow. What happened?! I know time flies but this is just downright ridiculous!

This year has been an absolute roller coaster. I can't even begin to explain all of the things I have learnt this year, about the world, about myself and about life in general. It would take forever, and I don't even know if I would really be able to put it into words if I tried!

This year has been a journey, and I have made so many wonderful memories and now, between my exchange student friends and my Finnish friends and families, I have some truly amazing loved ones all over the world! 

These goodbyes are so horribly sad because my return to Finland is a day I don't know yet. Whilst I know that it is 'see you later' rather than 'goodbye' because I WILL be back! That 'later' is not something I can define yet. It's a mystery to me when I will see these people that have become such a huge part of my life and this life changing year of mine again. It's a sickening and scary feeling.

Even when I am back, things will be different. My life in Finland will have changed, so whilst my friends will always be my friends, this is really the end of a chapter here too. My Lukio (Finnish highschool) days are over. On that note though, they did end in a really unexpected and special way!

It was my last day of school today and I was aware that they were going to say something at lunch time about me leaving. However, I was so shocked and overwhelmed by what they did for me. Everyone was called to the cafeteria and I was called to the front. One of my best friends spoke on behalf of the students and two of my teachers also said a few things on behalf of the teachers. Needless to say I was in tears from the first word out of their mouths! Crying in front of the whole school.. good one Emmy! Oh well! :'D 

They gave me a gift of two Iittala (Finnish design home wares which are really typical in Finland and which I love!) and a book that the student council had made for me with class pictures where people had written their names for me. They also then sang a Finnish goodbye song for me. The tears had no chance to cease!

Last of all I wanted to say something. I addressed the school, said a few things about my year with them and thanked everyone. Although I did have a little brain fart on one word and completely blanked like a dummy in front of everyone, I did quite well. I'm surprised I got it all out in Finnish considering the emotional state I was in!

I was so overwhelmed, people were hugging me and saying their goodbyes and it was really hitting me that this year is coming to an end. I'm still in shock. I don't know when it'll set in that I'm going home, maybe when I get there!

This year has ended so bitter sweet. I couldn't have asked for a better send off, it's all been so lovely and thoughtful. I couldn't have asked for better friends, they are truly the best! And whilst I know my family and friends back home are waiting for me to come home, and of course I want to see them too, I know that the minute I leave Finland I wont be back for some time. That hurts. It's all a bit conflicting to say the least!

To be honest, I don't know if this post makes any sense to anyone but me. I hope you can get something out of this! My brain is just fried from everything going on at the moment, I don't think I can do any better than this at this point!